反彈關係

反彈關係是心理學中對在愛情破裂時雙方愛人或戀人行為的一個專用辭彙，一提到“反彈關係”，就是指的愛人或戀人雙方因為感情問題迅速分離。反彈關係是一種干擾。

基本介紹

• 中文名：反彈關係
• 屬於：心理學
• 英文名：Rebound Relationship
• 相近：籃板關係

心理學專有詞組

【反彈關係是心理學中對在愛情破裂時雙方愛人或戀人行為的一個專用辭彙，一提到“反彈關係”，就是指的愛人或戀人雙方因為感情問題迅速分離。之所以又稱之為“籃板關係”，是因為這個詞做名詞使用時，就是籃板的意思。可以試想一下，就像籃球和籃板本是一體，但籃球一旦打在籃板上就會被迅速反彈回來，指的就是“反彈”的意思。所以，“Relationship”這個詞在反彈關係中專指姻親關係（翻譯為“感情”）或戀愛關係（翻譯為“戀情”）。本文對這個詞，兩種翻譯都使用到了，主要看的就是對象。如果提到的是前伴侶，翻譯成“感情”；如果是新伴侶，翻譯成“戀情”，這樣才恰當。】

Defining a Rebound Relationship:

反彈關係的定義：

A rebound relationship is one that occurs shortly after the break-up of a significant love relationship. If you are in a relationship but have distanced yourself emotionally from your relationship partner, you may begin a rebound relationship before you even leave the relationship you are in. If you move quickly from a long lasting relationship into another relationship then you are probably in a “rebound relationship."

反彈關係是在重要的愛情關係破裂之後不久發生的。如果你現在正處於一段感情中，但已經疏遠了和你戀人的感情，那么，甚至在你結束你的感情之前，你可能已經開始了反彈關係。如果你迅速的從一段長期持久的感情轉向另一段戀情，那么你可能就處在"反彈關係"中。

Rebound Relationships Serve a Purpose:

反彈關係服務於一個目的：

A rebound relationship is a distraction. It is a connection to another person that keeps us from having to experience the full extent of the emotional pain of our resent break-up. It is a misguided attempt to move on with our lives. Many people will jump back into the dating scene because they fear being alone. It’s a quick fix, one in which we can drown out our pain by reveling in the emotional intensity and passion of a new found love. It can be a lot more fun that dealing with the misery of a recently broken heart.

反彈關係是一種干擾。它關係到另外一個人，讓我們不必經歷最大程度的因怨恨分手而帶來的感情痛苦。它是一個誤導，企圖轉移我們的生活。很多人會跳回約會場所，因為他們害怕孤獨。這是一個快速修復，我們可以陶醉在強烈的情緒和新找的愛的激情里，來淹沒我們的痛苦。可以拿更多的樂趣，來應對一顆剛剛破碎的不幸的心。

（broken heart：破碎的心；心碎。）

Great Expectations:

強烈期望：

Don't go into a rebound relationship expecting your new partner to make up for the shortcomings and mistakes of the old partner. I like to call this the “knight is shining armor syndrome.” You may have just come out of a relationship that involved infidelity or abuse so, you turn around and expect your new partner to be able to make up for the pain you experienced in the old relationship. More than likely, all you will do is exchange one set of problems for another. You need to figure out what you want in a relationship before jumping into a new relationship.

不要走進反彈關係，期待你的新伴侶來彌補你舊伴侶的缺點和錯誤。這種心態我喜歡稱之為“身披閃亮盔甲的騎士綜合症”（表面上很光鮮，其實內心痛苦不堪）。可能你剛剛結束的感情，涉及不忠或虐待等，你轉過身來，希望你的新伴侶能彌補你在舊感情中經歷過的痛苦。但更多的可能是，你所做的只是用一系列問題交換另一系列問題。在跳進一段新戀情之前，你需要找出在這段戀情里什麼才是你想要的。

Too Fast, Too Soon:

太快，太急：

If you have spent years in a bad relationship you might be itching to make up for lost time. It's human nature to want a committed, fulfilling relationship and that desire can cause us to leap into a rebound relationship full speed ahead. We may have a sense of urgency and a desire to make sure we get it right the next time around. Those are great motivators to have. but, make sure that sense of urgency is not causing you to rush in the wrong direction.

如果你對一段糟糕的感情付出了很多年，你可能會渴望彌補失去的時間。人類的天性，就是想要一個既有承諾，又令人滿意的感情，這種渴望可以促使我們全速的跳進反彈關係。這些都是很大的動機。但是，確保緊迫感不是讓你往錯誤方向上沖的理由。

Masking Your Pain:

禁止你的痛苦：

This is the biggest problem in a rebound relationship. Usually someone ends up being used and hurt as a result. If you are in a relationship to distract yourself from the pain of a broken heart then you are using another person. More than likely when that person has served their purpose you will move on, leaving them to pick up the pieces. Be honest with your new relationship partner about your intentions.

這是反彈關係里最大的問題。通常有一個人最終會被利用得到受傷害的結果。如果你在新戀情中分散了你心碎的痛苦，那么說明你正在利用另一個人（指尋求另一個人的安慰）。更多的可能是，當那個人已經開始陷入對你的感情時，你會轉身離去，留下他來收拾殘局。一定要誠實的和你新戀人面對你的意願。

（has served their purpose：開始服務於他們的意志。引申出來的意思就是：開始陷入、服從於自己內心想要的情感。）

Being Used by The Rebounder:

正在使用的籃板：

If you find yourself in a relationship with someone who has recently broken off a long term relationship, be cautious. Don't allow your new relationship partner to set the pace. If you do, you will find yourself in the middle of a whirlwind. You don't want to be left in the dust once he/she decides to move on.

If you are single, out there looking for love and longing for a committed relationship you probably won't find what you desire from someone on the rebound. If you do become involved with such a person be sure to let the relationship develop slowly and to take care of yourself emotionally.

如果你發現跟自己感情很深的人突然中斷了這段長期的感情，請今後務必謹慎。不要允許你的新戀人來定步調。如果你還是這樣做，你會發現你處在旋風的中心。一旦他/她決定離開，你也不想被遺棄在塵土之中。

如果你是單身，正在尋找著愛情和渴望一段堅貞的感情，在失望沮喪之際，你很可能不能找到你所渴望的那個人。如果你成為這樣（追求完美）的人，一定要讓戀愛關係發展得慢一些，並注意自己的情緒。

Emotional Pain Doesn't Kill:

感情上的痛苦不能扼殺：

Experiencing and healing the pain of a broken relationship helps us become people who are more compassionate to other people's pain. Emotional pain won't kill you; it's what you will do to avoid that pain that might kill you. Or, at least make you wish you had not moved so swiftly into a new relationship. So, do yourself and any potential new relationship partners a favor and deal with the pain of your old relationship before moving onto another one.

體會和癒合破碎感情的痛苦，可幫助我們成為對其他人的痛苦更富有同情心的人。感情上的痛苦不會殺了你，如果你想要做什麼事來避免痛苦，那才可能會殺了你（指的意思還是說不要太快的踏入一段新戀情）。或者，至少（破碎感情的痛苦）讓你希望你不會那么迅速地進入一段新戀情。所以，幫你任何一個潛在的新戀人一個忙，投入到另一段感情之前，處理好舊感情帶給你的痛苦。