《The Want Ad》是Pandora'S Box演唱的歌曲，收錄於《Original Sin》專輯中。
基本介紹
- 外文名：The Want Ad
- 所屬專輯：Original Sin
- 歌曲原唱：Pandora'S Box
- 發行日期：1989年01月01日
歌曲歌詞
This is addressed to all the people who answered or may be thinking of answering
The personal ad I placed in volume 2
Number 15 of this newspaper two weeks ago Friday
First my apologies to the huge bartender with the voice
And the light hearted dark skinned advertising man
If either of you had called me back
I might not be writing this retraction of my ad
Even though I will soon be too busy to date much
But why didn't you call back
But to the others
Which include the two terrifying sisters
The under 18's and the over 60's
The numerous ones who dialed my number
And hung up as soon as I said hello
The 35 or 40 of you who made dates with me and never showed up
Including the one who complained his body was so powerful he couldn't control it anymore
The desperate wife seekers the already married
The one who was so one sided that he could think of nothing but sex
And then have the gall to ask me
If his nationality was the reason I wouldn't sleep with him
The many who couldn't get it up
When I was agreeable and the many who could and did when I was not
The pleasant young foreigner who turned out to be the private
Property of his gigantic girlfriend
The ones who were so grotesque in their appearance
That I couldn't possibly get past their faces to even consider a relationship with them
Especially sexual
The sharks and the geeks and the sadists
The latter category which I had specifically stated I didn't want
And the ones who wanted endless dirty talk
The ones who wanted to be punished
The ones who could only boast about the size of their
Bank rolls and or their equipment
And this definitely includes the teacher who said
All the kids want my stuff
The businessman who had an adjective for every letter
Of his last name r is for rich
The ones and there were many who said
My name is so and so and so how far do you go
The 300 pound lady judge who screamed abuse at me
The transvestite who wanted me to support him
The numerous young studs who had nothing to offer
Besides the negative results of their godd**n blood tests
The diminutive actor and the other short ones
The astronomer who cried like a baby
And said he'd been betrayed by every star he ever knew
The fanatic priest who wanted me to confess
To things I'd never even dreamed of
The worn out soldiers the burned out poets
The pumped up jocks and the used up kids
The racists including the one at whose place I left my white sweater
And I'd rather cut off my right thumb than go back for it
The drunks junkies crack and coke heads the multitude of liars
And especially the nice ones who never called back
To all of you I say
Just forget my phone number
I don't need all the hassles
I'll be starting school next month and I just don't want to be bothered
Don't hold your breath any of you
Sincerely
The underweight platinum blonde
Have a nice day
