After 13 years and 2 beautiful children together, Yale and I have parted our ways. Yale moved out last week.
Dear Diane/Tao Dan Yang,
Over the past couple of years, you knew everything about my family. You knew when my kids had their soccer tournaments, you knew when they had their swimming practices. You even knew their baby nicknames. On December 18th, 2009, on a noon flight, I took my children to the U.S. for Christmas vacation. On the very same day, December 18th, 2009, on an afternoon flight, you and Yale took off for the beaches of Phuket and shopping streets of Bangkok for Christmas vacation. Diane, as a fellow woman, I often wondered if the level of ecstasy this vacation had brought you equates to the level of devastation this vacation had brought to my children and me. Diane, I often asked myself what was it like for you to sleep in the arms of another woman's husband, other children's father? I wondered if you ever thought about us, the children and the wife, that we are made of flesh and blood, that we have feelings, that we could get hurt, very hurt, devastatingly hurt. I pondered if you knew you were destroying a family, if you knew your joy would bring endless tears to us.渣打郵件門
We went to Beijing last week for Chinese New Year. Your clothes were in our Beijing home. My son screamed:" Mommy, don't touch those, they are disgusting! Set them on fire, burn them to hell. They are the devil's cloth!" My children are hurt. My daughter, 9 years old, now says "Mommy, I don't ever want to get married." My son, 8 years old, says "Diane is our Voldemort!" The psychological damage this affair has done to my children is catastrophic. They are forever emotionally damaged. With this, I announce you the winner.
How do I feel, Diane? This affair is like 10 thousand knives stabbing and chopping my heart all at once. This affair has left me in so much pain that I don't know how to heal myself. This affair has taught me tear supply can actually be infinite. This affair has crushed me, leaving me a corpse walking around with no heart. I don't know how to deal with this kind of pain. I don't know how to move on. But I have children. I must move on. Diane, I pray to God that you will never have to experience this kind of betrayal and hurt. I wish you and Yale a happy life together because, after all, we are all women and we all deserve to be happy.
With sincere regards,
Lily
老公的回信英文版
發件人: Yale Yang [mailto:yale.yang@xxxx
傳送時間: 2010年2月23日 11:14
收件人: Zhang, Lily
抄送: Tao, Diane; （省去500字，抄送了一大堆人）
主題: Re: Dear friends...Moving on ...
Lily,
Please do not bring the personal issues to the public. The truth of the facts is that our marriage had been falling apart 8 years ago, divorce had been in discussion 5 years ago. Our issues are known to all the people in the world! Diane had done nothing wrong for her part! I am firmly standing by and behind Diane. I will certainly hope she will marry me one day soon!
Trying to tell the people how evil I am and Diane is in this way is not going to succeed! All the people, who knows you, me and our marriage, supported my divorce, including my good friend Zhu Wei. I am sorry I have dragged everyone into this. Lily please move on!
Sincerely yours
英文回復
Dear Lily,
I understand that you are going through a difficult time in your personal life, and I sincerely hope that you will find a way to deal with it that is the best for you and your children.
I do understand how you feel. I also understand, however, that a marriage can only break apart from the inside. I do not appreciate your attempt to smear my reputation and paint me as the home wrecker. You know as well as Yale does that your marriage fell apart long before Yale and I even met. Whether or not I am in Yale's life has nothing to do with the eventual outcome of your marriage. I am sure you understand this as well, but you nonetheless sought to burn me on the cross as the scapegoat for your failed marriage, which I do not believe is a mature thing to do.
Your description of the emotional damage your children have suffered is disturbing indeed. I cannot help but wondering what you have been telling them. I would think that a mother's first and foremost priority is to protect her children from any emotional damage, rather than using them as bargaining chips with a spouse or as props to win public sympathy. Yale is the children's father and will always be. I am sure he will always love them and be the best father he can be to them. Wouldn't it make more sense, for the sake of the children's wellbeing, to emphasize to them that both their parents will always love them even though one parent will not be living with them all the time? I do not see what benefit there could possibly be to teach the children to hate their own father.
You asked me how it was like to sleep in Yale's arms. I also wanted to ask you, Lily, why would you want to hang on to someone who clearly does not want to be with you at all? Lily, you are intelligent, highly-educated and you have a high-paying and well-respected job. So why did you spend so much time and energy trying to force someone who does not care about you to stay with you? As a fellow woman I want to ask you this, don't you think you deserve better? If there's anything that is worse than sleeping in the arms of another woman's husband, it is sleeping in the arms of someone who resents you, cannot stand you and wants to run away from you whenever he gets a chance. So Lily, why would you want to put yourself in that situation? Once again, don't you think you deserve better?
I sincerely hope that the pain you are currently feeling will subside soon and you can turn a new leaf in your life. Please remember, you can lose a job, you can lose a spouse, but you should never lose yourself. And please, do not vent your negative feelings on your children. They are innocent. Please always keep in mind their best interests rather than your own. You deserve true happiness, and I hope that you will find it soon.
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